


Agony: A Mini Reylo

by KCMarsala



Category: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, kylo ren is dead, rey is really sad about that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 17:11:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14000754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KCMarsala/pseuds/KCMarsala
Summary: Although she had successfully blocked Kylo Ren from her mind and her life since Crait, Rey is suddenly overwhelmed by pain that she knows instinctively is not her own. When the pain subsides and she can no longer feel his presence at the barrier she had built to keep him out, she knows he has died. What surprises her, though, is how that makes her feel…Dedicated to Shawna Madsen.





	1. Pain

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shawna Madsen](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Shawna+Madsen).



Rey laughed along with Finn, enjoying a rare moment of levity. He continued his story, relating the absolute hilarity that was Poe attempting to prepare a romantic meal, and Rey felt an overwhelming sense of contentment for her friends and their budding relationship.

“By the time the fire was out,” Finn continued in the midst of his own laughter, “we agreed he should stick to piloting!”

“Oh, I wish I had seen that!” Rey exclaimed, catching the tear squeezed from her eye on the tip of her finger. “What did he th—?”

Rey gasped in the middle of the word, her eyes suddenly wide as unimaginable pain seized her. Her arm flung out, and she gripped Finn’s arm fiercely as she bent in two, attempting to both identify and quell the cause of the intense agony. Just as Finn turned to her in abrupt alarm, however, a fresh wave assaulted her and she screamed, the pain coursing through her in electric pulses that robbed her of the ability to control her body. She wasn’t aware of her voice rising in wailing cries that filled the air and instantly drew every eye toward her. She didn’t know her body convulsed violently with the burning, stabbing sensations that scraped and scoured her from the inside. She had no knowledge of laying in the gravel, every muscle in her body clenching against itself as her keening shout slowly died into pitiful pleas for the pain to stop. And not until it ceased with such abruptness that a final shout was wrenched from her throat did she realize Finn had pulled her into his arms, his face frozen in an expression of intense alarm as he attempted to assuage her agony.

Rey opened her eyes, horribly shaken and frightened by the memory of pain that remained so close in its wake. Pathetic whimpers escaped her throat as her body readjusted to the reality of her circumstances. Her hands trembled violently as she reached for Finn, clinging to him in her need to reassure herself that she was alright.

“What happened?” he demanded urgently.

Rey shook her head, only now becoming aware of the ring of onlookers that made her distinctly uncomfortable. She turned her face into Finn’s shoulder, taking shelter from their intrusive gazes as she muttered her terrified response.

“I don’t know. It was just… _pain_ like I’ve never imagined.”

“Where are you hurt?”

“I’m not,” she insisted, knowing this instinctively. “It’s gone now, like it was just shut off—”

Rey’s voice gave out abruptly as she suddenly realized what this meant. If it wasn’t her, it had to be…

Her eyes widening in refreshed horror, Rey stared unseeing at Finn as she delved into that familiar place in her mind, the door she’d closed so many months ago. But the presence she’d felt pressing against it from the other side, the constant entreaty for admission that sometimes flared into an angry demand or a desperate plea but that was never truly absent, was utterly missing. Daring for the first time since she’d closed it to crack the door open just a smidge, expecting the presence to flow instantly and overwhelmingly into her mind, she felt her anxiety heighten exponentially as absolutely nothing happened.

“Oh gods!” Rey gasped breathlessly, her hands gripping Finn’s jacket all the tighter as a terrible suspicion squeezed tears from her eyes.

“Rey!” he shouted frantically. “What the hell’s going on?!”

She didn’t hear him, though, the entirety of her consciousness turned inward as she flung the door wide and thrust her mind through, searching for the external consciousness it had blocked for so long. Beyond the door was a space like a vast, cavern, and it was utterly empty, only faint streaks of luminescence and shadow at the distant edges hinting toward the vitality that had once lingered there.

“No!” she cried, desperate to deny what she knew this must mean.

“ _Rey!_ ”

Rey’s body spasmed and she blinked hard as her eyes focused on Finn. Abruptly drawn back into her physical reality and belatedly recognizing the spectacle she was making of herself, the overwhelming need to flee suddenly gripped her. She clumsily pushed her way out of Finn’s arms and scrambled to her feet, heedlessly flinging her hands out to grab at the nearest arms and garments that could aid her to rise. Blinded by tears, she sobbed and gasped as she stumbled forward, hardly noticing and much less caring that she pushed her way ruthlessly through a crowd at least six people deep. Bursting at last into open air, Rey took flight, her feet pounding out a punishing tempo beneath her as she attempted to outrun the crushing truth, the realization that should have filled her with relief and yet somehow flooded her with absolute despair. She wept wildly, alternately running and screaming until she collapsed in utter exhaustion, her breath heaving painfully through her chest and her body trembling violently. No longer able to suppress the awareness either physically or mentally, she felt profound grief subsume her as she dug her fingers into the damp earth and cried bitterly.

 _Kylo Ren was dead_.


	2. Confession

Rey did her best to ignore the pounding on her door, but it was difficult, considering it reinforced the pounding in her head. Having cried herself dry out in the field beyond the landing zone and the training grounds, she had found her way back to the solitude and privacy of her quarters, managing at least to avoid any unwanted conversations along the way. But, given her behavior earlier, she knew it would only be a matter of time—and not very much of it—before Finn and probably Poe too would be coming to check on her, their eyes full of worry. Indeed, she had only been back here long enough to splash water on her face and stare into her own gaze, questioning herself in unanswerable frustration as to why she felt so incredibly despondent over her rival’s death, when her prophecy came to pass.

She took a deep, careful breath when the fist at the door paused in its pounding, but sighed again when it promptly resumed. Gritting her teeth, she rose from her fetal position on her bed, acknowledging that they weren’t likely to stop demanding admittance since the telltale signal above every door indicated without her consent that she was indeed present within the room.

With a violent gesture, Rey threw the bolt aside and promptly returned to the bed, leaving her intruders to intrude on their own. She sat with her back pressed against the wall and her knees tucked firmly under her chin, and she watch with red, bleary eyes as both Finn and Poe cautiously entered her room, their eyes seeking her out, the concern deep in their gazes.

Poe opted to stand just inside the door, at almost the furthest position he could from where Rey sat, but Finn took a different tack, kneeling down at the edge of her bed and leaning his elbows on the mattress by her feet. Recognizing just how disturbing it must have been for him to witness what she’d endured, she reached her hand out and he promptly held it firmly in his. Surprisingly, she found the contact vaguely comforting.

Neither of them spoke, but they didn’t need to. Rey knew what they wanted to know, just like she knew they wouldn’t leave until they got at least mildly satisfying answers. And, for the second time in the span of moments, she surprised herself when she realized that, for the first time since all this had begun, she wanted to confide in them, hoping to release some fraction of the tension she’d been dealing with all alone for almost a year. But, in order to do so, first she had to speak the words that had been festering in her mind.

Meeting Finn’s gaze, she allowed the tears to come, knowing that she would be helpless to thwart them anyway, no matter how hard she tried. Succumbing to the pressure of her inexplicable misery, she bowed her head, allowing the tears their reign for a moment before forcing herself to look into his dear, caring eyes and speak the words that tore at her soul.

“Kylo Ren is dead.”

Predictably, both Finn and Poe were startled. From the periphery of her gaze, Rey saw Poe’s folded arms drop, but she was more absorbed by the way Finn’s hand flinched in hers, and his eyes hardened in dark satisfaction. She swallowed and looked away, having failed to anticipate how completely and naturally his attitude would oppose hers at the revelation of this news. She attempted to extricate her fingers from his but, instead of releasing her, he gripped her tighter. Allowing her gaze to return to his, she saw the apology in his eyes as he attempted to minimize his happiness at her proclamation.

“How do you know?”

Rey took a deep breath. Leave it to Poe to zero in on the most troublesome aspect of this whole situation right away.

“I felt him die.”

Now, Finn’s eyes widened in horror. “That’s what…?”

She nodded, the memory of the horrendous pain choking her and making speech impossible for the moment. She hadn’t known that was what was happening at the time, her mind having proven insufficient to the feat of rational thought while she endured such agony, but she wasn’t certain that the realization had been any easier to deal with. Once she had recognized that the pain was not her own, it had been obvious to her whose it must have been. And when she found the space beyond the door in her mind, the space she knew without a doubt he had occupied almost without pause for at least the last several months, it became equally obvious what that meant. What had been considerably less obvious, was how that made her feel…

“How is that possible?” Poe asked, his tone deeply confused but carefully calm, and Rey took a deep breath, bracing herself for the truth she had never revealed to anyone.

“I was bonded to him in the Force.” She pushed the confession out, and continued without breathing, trying to anticipate their questions so she could get it all out as fast as possible. “I could talk to him through the force, hear him in my mind. Sometimes I could see him and he could see me, and once we even touched and I could feel his hand even though he was across the galaxy.”

She trembled with the memory, recalling the overwhelming intensity of that moment, but she swallowed the despondency that threatened renewed tears, refusing to allow them reign over her.

“He could never see or hear any of my surroundings, and I could never see his. So I was careful what I said whenever he appeared. I never gave away any military secrets,” she declared firmly to Poe, knowing that would be his primary concern. “And, even if I had, he clearly never did anything with that information.”

Rey choked on her words and turned away again, pressing her fist against her mouth as she lost the ongoing battle with her tears. In the last several months, the Resistance had flourished, and the First Order had seemed utterly incapable of stemming their growth. Every mission they’d launched, every initiative they’d sought had been met with success. Even Poe couldn’t dispute that their unmitigated triumphs meant Rey hadn’t compromised their intelligence. But it didn’t escape her notice that she felt the need to defend her dead rival, to point out his obvious neglect of said intelligence if he _had_ gleaned any from her through the Force.

“How?” Finn burst out suddenly, as if he couldn’t maintain his silence any longer. “ _When?_ ”

“I don’t know how it happened,” Rey murmured. “I first saw him when I was on Ahch-To with Master Luke, and I thought maybe it was the concentration of the Force there that caused it. But it happened after that too, and I realized later that I’d been feeling it since Starkiller Base. I just didn’t know it.”

“Starkiller!” Finn hissed, pulling his hand out of hers. “That was a year ago! How come you never told me?”

“And what would you have said?” Rey challenged him hotly, her ire suddenly piqued. “Told me to stop it, sever the bond? What do you think I’d been trying to do all this time? I figured out how to block him after Crait, how to keep him from appearing to me or even talking to me unless I allowed him to, and I never allowed him back in after that so there didn’t seem to be any point in telling you. I had it under control…until…”

Rey trembled, recalling the horror of what she’d experienced only hours ago, and she saw her reaction echoed in Finn’s face.

“Wait,” Poe interjected suddenly, “is that why you…?”

Finn stared at Poe, waiting for him to finish his question, but Rey bowed her head, knowing exactly what he was angling toward. Rather than have to do it herself, though, she allowed Poe to explain.

“Chewie never would say _why_ you went to the _Supremacy_ , but it was because of him wasn’t it?”

She nodded somberly, her eyes focused on her hands wringing together atop her knees. “I had a vision in the Force and I thought it meant I could bring him back to the Light.”

“How could you do that, Rey?” Finn erupted immediately. “That monster killed his own father!”

“I know that, Finn!” she shouted, slamming her fists against her thighs. “I was there, remember? I saw! I don’t need you to remind me!”

“But how could you think _you_ could save him when _Han_ couldn’t?” he persisted, unrepentant.

“It doesn’t matter,” she retorted bitterly, suddenly defeated and robbed of her fight. “I was wrong.”

“What did you see?”

Rey angled her face toward Poe, irritated, weary, and confused. “What?”

“In the Force,” he clarified. “Your vision. What did you see?”

Rey debated with herself whether or not she wanted to disclose this. She considered choosing to withhold that information, to keep it private, only for herself, but then sighed wearily. He was dead. It wasn’t like she’d be betraying his trust, or anything. Besides, it was _her_ vision. He had just been _in_ it.

“I saw him standing by my side, _with_ me. I thought it meant—” Rey sighed, frustrated and annoyed with herself, not to mention overwhelmingly sad. “It doesn’t matter what I thought. I was wrong.”

Rey leaned her head back against the wall, closing her eyes as tears threatened yet again. Her mind filled with useless imaginings of how different everything could have been if only things had turned out differently in Snoke’s throne room. Granted, he had killed his master rather than fulfill his command to kill _her_ , and she was grateful for that. But then…he’d held his hand out to her. And she’d been so tempted to take it, to embrace that chance to stand united with him, to fulfill her vision, to feel the true weight and solidity of his flesh, as opposed to the Force’s approximation of it from untold distances across the galaxy. She’d so desperately _wanted_ to, but he made that impossible when he insisted that the Jedi, her friends, the Resistance, everything she cared for should die. Her heart had broken in that moment, only to be shattered further when word reached her of just what had happened on Crait, how he’d ruthlessly sought Master’s Luke’s annihilation and even attempted to drive that horrible spitting lightsaber of his through his uncle’s chest, just like he had with his father. She’d known then that she had made the right decision, that things on the _Supremacy_ couldn’t have turned out any differently than they had.

But now she couldn’t help but wonder sadly…what _if_ …?

“How did he die?” Poe asked gently. “What killed him?”

Rey shook her head, impatiently brushing tears away and pulling herself back from pointless thoughts. “I don’t know, but I felt his pain and it was so incredibly awful. Like fire and ice and electricity all at once. Every agony you can imagine was there, and more. And don’t you _dare_ say he deserved it, Finn. _No one_ deserves to feel that kind of pain.”

Both men met her words with silence, and Rey was certain they wondered why she should be so defensive of the man who had been responsible for the murder of millions across the galaxy. But she desperately hoped they didn’t ask, knowing that was something she couldn’t even explain to herself. Yes, it was difficult to separate her emotions from what she’d experienced, but it was more than just the memory of the pain. It was his _absence_ in her mind, that spot he had occupied for so long that was now just… _empty_. It hurt in a way she couldn’t explain, couldn’t understand, but also couldn’t deny.

She hadn’t seen his face or heard his voice after that last moment they had experienced through the Force when they were both on Crait. When she’d closed the door of the _Falcon_ on him, despite the desperate plea in his eyes for her to reconsider his offer, she’d somehow created the door in her mind that shut him out. The next time she felt the weight in the air that presaged his appearance, she’d recalled that door and sealed it against him, and he’d never appeared. She’d felt him pushing at it on occasion, but the longer she maintained its integrity, the easier it became, until she could sustain that door against him with hardly a thought, no matter how hard or long he beat at it. Eventually, she almost didn’t notice his attempts to reach her anymore, and she’d even begun to wonder if she didn’t notice them or if he’d just stopped trying. But she’d become so accustomed to his constant presence in her mind, seeping around the edges of the tightly shut door, that she hadn’t even been aware of it until it was gone.

“Are you certain?”

Lost in her thoughts again, Rey had to shake her head stiffly and stare at Poe blankly for a moment before she could even understand the words he’d uttered.

“Certain…?”

“That he’s dead,” he clarified, hurrying to speak again when she made a tiny, pathetic whimpering sound. “I just need to know how we’re going to deal with this.”

 _We_. He meant _the Resistance_. For the first time, Rey was glad that Leia had passed, knowing the horrid task of telling her of her son’s death would have fallen on Rey’s shoulders. But it was small consolation and the knowledge that neither mother nor son would ever again roam the galaxy filled her with fresh misery.

Of course, Poe needed to know how the Resistance should respond to the Supreme Leader’s death. He and the rest of the command staff would need to analyze precisely what this meant for the ongoing war. As Leia’s successor and the most senior General — how in the hell had _that_ happened? — he would need to think in these terms. But Rey just couldn’t approach this as a political event. For whatever reasons, whether just the Force or…something else, his death was just too _close_ to her. But, for Poe’s sake — and, if she were being honest, out of a lingering hope that maybe it would be different this time — Rey ventured to that door in her mind that she kept closed now out of sheer habit. Peering into the vast cavern beyond, she found it every bit as empty as it had been all the other times she’d checked, hoping to find some precious remnant of the consciousness that had so furtively become so familiar to her. Despite her assumption toward its impossibility, yet another tear escaped the confines of her eye, proving that her reservoir of sorrow had not yet run dry.

“Yes,” she assured Poe, her voice shaky as her emotions got the better of her. “I’m certain.”

Suddenly weary and wanting nothing more than to escape consciousness, Rey slowly lowered herself onto her side and listlessly pulled a blanket toward her, hugging it to her chest as though it could absorb her angst.

“I’m really tired…” she murmured, her voice barely a whisper.

“Of course,” Poe responded readily, and Rey was overcome by the uncharitable thought that he was relieved to be rid of her company just so he could go strategize this latest development with the other officers of the command.

“I’m here for you, Rey,” Finn muttered, briefly gripping her hand in his.

She nodded, but bitterly thought about how that wasn’t really true, since he was probably overjoyed by the tidings of death she’d borne and genuinely couldn’t fathom why she should feel so sad about it. And she suddenly wanted nothing more than to be rid of them so she could slip into a blessedly oblivious sleep, sensing that would be her only respite from the agony of her emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave your kudos and comments and I will be certain to get back to you!


	3. Dream

“You’re not alone.”

“Neither are you.”

Rey held her hand forward, knowing she was fulfilling a prescribed role and not caring in the least. In fact, as he impatiently pulled the glove from his hand, she eagerly and desperately awaited the opportunity to indulge in that brief contact with him, knowing it would turn out to be the only time she ever would. But the world spun away before her fingers could reach his and she cried out her dismay.

She lay encased in an emergency escape pod, her heart hammering in her ears as she anxiously awaited her first real sight of him, unencumbered by the untold distance of space and the intervention of the Force. But, though she knew he would be there, standing outside the pod with a grim look upon the face that had already become so dear to her, a different figure appeared, encased in polished chrome armor, some sort of glorified stormtrooper. And, before she could object to the unwelcome revision to her memory, it all spun away again.

Sensing the danger across the room, Rey threw the lightsaber that had called to her in Maz Kanata’s dingy basement. Responding easily to the bloodline of its creator, the weapon landed precisely in his hand, igniting in time to destroy the crimson-clad guard who sought to rob her of his life. His eyes met hers and held her entranced. But, instead of stopping to contemplate his slain master and leaving her time to plead for the end of the assault on the Resistance fleet, his eyes never left hers as he strode firmly and confidently toward her, taking her in his arms, his mouth descending inexorably toward hers as the world spun away.

“I’ll destroy her!” he shouted, his fury palpable. “And you, and all of it!”

“No,” his opponent responded calmly, “strike me down in anger and I will always be with you, just like your father.”

Suddenly finding herself so far away, Rey hurried forward, knowing she was witnessing the confrontation she hadn’t seen on Crait. Despite knowing she couldn’t possibly change the outcome, she ran as hard as she could, shouting in an effort to disrupt either of them, desperately needing to save both her master and her rival. But as the crackling red saber swiped the air just above her master’s awkwardly suspended form, Rey’s foot missed the salt-covered surface as it all spun away once more.

Now she lay in her bed, curled into a ball and weeping bitterly, having suffered the loss of the closest thing she would ever have to a mother. She felt his misery seeping around the edges of the door to her consciousness, could sense the abject grief with which he suffered over Leia’s passing. He wasn’t pressing at the door like he sometimes did, but she was nevertheless sorely tempted to open it, to allow them both whatever comfort they could garner from one another. Contrary to her memory, Rey embraced the temptation she’d fought so hard against and allowed herself to linger at her mental door, weeping silently and holding her palm to its surface, somehow sensing that he did the same on the other side. Finally anticipating the altered memory’s interruption since she had reached a moment she sorely longed to experience, Rey was able to close her eyes against the disorienting sensation of the world spinning away.

He knelt before her, bruised and bloodied, wearing some strange device about his neck and little else. Every agony of his body was laid bare to her sight, evidence of untold tortures. His face lifted suddenly and the terror in his eyes stole her breath as he fell back, screaming, every muscle in his body spasming and convulsing as the echo of an unimaginable pain assailed her. Rey’s voice rose to join his, protesting both his pain and her sharing of it, knowing she was witnessing the moment of his death. And this time, much to her dismay, the world didn’t spin away, leaving her in heart wrenching anguish to watch as his screams faded in correlation with his waning strength. Drained of all vitality, he lay limp against the floor, his body twitching violently every now and then like a landed sea creature, only pitiful whimpers escaping his throat at those moments. At last, the unseen assault ended, a last breath exhaling from his body as he fell slack against the floor, his life spent. Weeping in distress at the sight of him in death, Rey ventured forward cautiously, both dreading and longing for the inevitable spinning away that would rescue her from this misery but, still, she remained. She knelt beside his body, her trembling hand reaching out, longing to touch him in death as she hadn’t been able to in life. And a sudden gasp caught in her throat as, impossibly, his beleaguered eyes opened, straining against the weight of their lids, and he looked upon her with a weary, pained gaze. And, there, dimly, in the midst of his haggard breath, he whispered her name…

Rey blinked, and he was gone. No spinning presaged her new awareness, and she remained in exactly the same position she’d last held, her trembling hand suspended over the body of her rival, which was no longer present. Releasing a sound half breath and half cry, she fell back in dismay, her eyes searching wildly for him. Slowly, she became aware of the cavernous space with its distant streaks of luminescence and shadow. She knew this place, knew the loneliness of it, and a keening cry arose from her throat, giving voice to her anguish. Then, as if uttered directly beside her ear, she heard the weak breath…

“ _Rey…_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm... What could this mean?!?!?!?


	4. Conviction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey interprets her dream and figures out what she needs to do.

She woke with a cry, blinking in consternation, reviewing every detail of the lucid dream, knowing with absolute certainty that it had been augmented by the Force. Quickly, she catalogued each scene against her memories, reminding herself of which versions had actually happened, and desperately trying to understand what the Force was attempting to communicate. Hope assailing her, Rey turned her focus inward, instantly opening the door to the cavern…only to find it every bit as empty. She scanned the strange, distant streaks of luminescence and shadows frantically, certain the Force intended for her to discover something here. But there was nothing, everything was as it had been since his death.

“What is it?” she cried out in frustrated angst, her voice both echoing out into the cavernous space and dying immediately upon departing her lips.

Frustration gripped her, forcing loud and heaving breaths through her lungs, throat, and lips. As her emotions built, driving her toward a fresh bout of miserable weeping, her breath caught in her throat and held for an instant…

…during which she heard a faint whisper.

Gasping, she held her breath deliberately this time, stilling her feet and suspending her hands, attempting to silence all sounds of her body. But the thunderous echo of her ponderous heartbeat in her ears thwarted her attempt to hear anything out of the ordinary, leading her to wish she could halt the beating of her own heart. Inspired, she closed her eyes, dropping into a meditation posture and willing her frantic heartbeat to slow. And, there, between the lengthened pulses, at last she heard a faint, nearly indiscernible movement of air, weak and distant. Rising to her feet while struggling to maintain her artificially slowed pulse against her simultaneously mounting anxiety and hope, Rey traced the source of the faint sound.

At last, she located a distant area in the cavernous space that was covered in the darkest shadows, utterly absent of the glowing luminescence that streaked through the rest of the cavern. Here, though, it was black as the deepest night, sinking unobtrusively into the recesses of its surroundings. With sudden intuition, Rey spun about, peering across the cavern to spy an area absent of shadows, glowing brightly in sparkling light. And, in a flash of insight, Rey understood.

This chamber was not his mind, nor was it hers, but a link between them. That spot of brightness was the passageway to her mind, beyond which she had created a door to keep him out. Which meant that this spot of darkness behind her…was him.

And it was breathing.

Spinning about once again, all efforts at maintaining her lowered heart rate utterly abandoned in the wake of her soaring hope, Rey fell to her knees. Crawling forward on trembling limbs, Rey felt a faint breath of a familiar essence caress her arms and she sobbed audibly. For the first time since she last stood in his presence, the slaughter of the Supreme Leader and his Praetorian Guard surrounding them both, Rey allowed herself to speak his true name.

“ _Ben!_ ”

A moaning breath responded to her voice and her eyes snapped open, jerking her instantly from the cavern that connected their minds back into her quarters at the Resistance base. Frantic, she leapt from her bed and went tearing through the corridors, heedless of the racket she made even though it was the middle of the night. Ripping past Finn and Poe’s quarters with her eyes angled upward, she noted the darkness of the indicator that showed they were not inside. And that’s when she began yelling.

“Poe!”

She continued her flight, shouting all the way, drawing eyes both curious and furious as she flew through the labyrinthine corridors. At last, her cries garnered the attention of one she knew could help.

“BB-8!” she cried, skidding to a stop beside the little round droid. “Where’s Poe?”

She listened impatiently to the warbles and nodded.

“Of course he is! Thank you!” she exclaimed, taking a fraction of a moment to kiss the droid’s head in gratitude before she was off and running again.

Finally, she burst into the main command center, where she found both Poe and Finn bent over a holographic map, no doubt strategizing their assault on the leaderless First Order. Of course, that would have to wait now.

“Poe!”

The senior general of the Resistance stood erect instantly, his brow furrowed in concern as he watched Rey run to his side, her eyes bright with unrepressed joy and urgency.

“He’s alive!”

“What?!”

“I was wrong!” she cried, knowing she shouldn’t be so happy about this news, but also knowing the effort to obscure her enthusiasm was utterly beyond her just now. “The cavern was empty and that’s where he’d always been so I thought that meant he was dead, but I was wrong. The cavern is only a link between us, and if he were really dead, it wouldn’t even _be_ there. But it is! That must mean he’s still alive!”

“Wait— I—”

Poe shook his head vigorously as his eyes crossed, and Rey instinctively knew he had not yet gotten any sleep.

“You’re not making any sense. You said you were certain he’s dead. But now you’re certain he’s not?”

“Well, it wouldn’t make sense! The cavern… And the breath…”

“What cavern?!”

Rey sighed, realizing she had forgotten in her excitement that not everyone perceived the Force and their own minds the way she did. Of course her jabbering would sound like nonsense to him.

“Did you speak to him?”

“Wha—? No.”

Having been struck by the incredible realization that she’d completely misinterpreted the meaning of what she’d found in her mind, her first and only thought had been to inform Poe, to stop whatever plans they were making because they could endanger both Ben and the Resistance. If Ben’s treachery in killing Snoke had been discovered and he was being held and tortured as a result, then it wouldn’t necessarily mean the First Order was weakened at all. To mount a large-scale assault with such faulty intelligence could prove disastrous.

“Where is he?”

“He’s being held captive on his ship.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I—” And Rey abruptly cut herself off.

No, actually, she wasn’t sure. It was the assumption she had leapt to, seeing the magnitude of his torture and knowing what she did about the true events surrounding his Master’s death. But the latter was an assumption, and the former based on knowledge she’d been granted in a dream. She didn’t _know_ either the facts of his torture nor that his actions in Snoke’s throne room had been discovered, and she recognized the importance of getting this information right.

“No,” she admitted somberly and reluctantly. “I’m not sure.”

Poe threw up his hands in frustration and turned his back on Rey, consulting briefly with his command staff, their voices rising in confusion and complaint as they debated the ramifications of this new development. Rey tuned out their conversation as her focus fell upon Finn, who watched her with dark caution. She perceived the disapproval in his stare, guessing with confidence that her display of enthusiasm and what that said about the state of her emotions were the focus of his thoughts. She didn’t want him to be angry with her, but she in no way intended to apologize for her behavior. She’d spent enough time denying what lay between her and Ben. Now that she had experienced the effect of believing him dead, she would be damned if she’d continue along the same path.

“I can find out!”

Poe turned at her shout, holding up an imperious hand for silence when the conversation continued behind him.

“You can find out what, Rey?”

“I can confirm that he’s alive, and I can find out where he is,” she claimed, stifling the traitorous voice deep in her consciousness that wondered if she really could. “That’ll tell you everything you need to know, right?”

Poe stared at her for a moment, pondering, then nodded succinctly. With an answering nod, Rey closed her eyes and turned her thoughts inward.

“What? Now?!” Poe exclaimed, startled, to which Rey only shushed him.

Finding herself instantly inside the cavern linking them, she headed straight for the shadowed area, moving smoothly into the passage and, as she anticipated, finding a door. She pushed against it and found it immobile. She pounded on it, with no response. She called out his name. Still nothing. And she began to despair that he wouldn’t let her in just out of spite. Or…maybe…he _had_ died.

_No_ , she decided firmly. The cavern was still there. That meant there was still life in him…at least, _some_ …

Laying herself down against the door, she concentrated and pushed as much of her essence against it as she could, willing it to ooze around the edges toward him, just like she imagined he had done in his most desperate attempts to reach her. And she lost her train of thought for a moment, imagining what he could have been experiencing to bring him to such a point. _Why_ had he needed to speak with her so desperately? And what had it meant to him that she’d adamantly refused to listen to him? Feeling her heart aching in sympathy for the distress she only now realized she must have caused, she used that sense of hopeless despair, sensing that such a Dark emotion might fare better in this Dark corridor of his mind. And, then, though she couldn’t sense whether it was her doing or his, the door dissolved, disintegrating into nothingness rather than swinging open. And she sensed it would not return.

_Ben…?_

She ventured slowly forward, taking her first, cautious steps into his mind, a place she hadn’t been since that wholly confusing encounter when he’d interrogated her on Starkiller Base. Then, it had been a terrifying prospect, borne of an instinct toward survival. Now, it was still terrifying, but the survival she sought was not her own.

Ahead, a faint shape took form, and Rey moved forward with a stifled cry, landing on her knees at Ben’s side. He was utterly still, completely unaware of her presence, but she could hear the faint wheezing of his breath as it pushed stubbornly in and out through his throat. She didn’t have the heart to wake him, knowing he swam in a painless oblivion as long as he slept, and she withdrew, silently vowing that she would be there for him soon.

Retreating into the cavern, Rey was aware she had only fulfilled the first of her two missions here for Poe. Kneeling in the center of the space that she now understood was shot through with both Light and Dark, she opened herself to the Force, asking it to reveal him to her. She felt herself soaring through the black of space and, before she knew it, she approached a trio of massive ships at far greater speed than any vessel could achieve. She felt her consciousness directing toward the center ship and felt more than heard the name _Finalizer_ echoing in her mind. Opening her eyes, she was wrenched abruptly from her internal consciousness to her external body, and found herself surrounded by anxious, impatient gazes.

“Yes, he’s alive,” she reported, though opting not to reveal how precarious his condition was. “And he’s on the _Finalizer_.”

Poe turned immediately, he and the other members of command instantly and vigorously debating their course of action. Rey listened for a time, her heart sinking with every passing moment as she realized getting Ben out of there was nowhere on the table. Objectively, there was no reason it should be, but she knew she didn’t have it in her to abandon him to whatever fate the First Order had in mind. If it fell to her to rescue him, so be it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I really do thrive off your comments, so please let me know what you think!!!


	5. Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets unexpected help in figuring out how to get to Ben.

“You’re going to him, aren’t you?”

Rey halted in her tracks, bowing her head low. Somehow, she’d expected this, but that didn’t make it any easier to deal with.

“Yes, Finn,” she admitted, turning to regard him, her gaze begging him to understand though without much hope he would. “I need to.”

“Why?”

“Because there’s…something between us. I’ve spent the last year denying it and, after what I felt yesterday, I can’t anymore. I can’t just leave him to die.”

“Why not? Maker knows, _he’s_ done it enough.”

Rey’s expression drooped in sorrow. She knew he had a point and that she couldn’t really argue it, but she also knew it didn’t matter. For her, his history and the things he’d done were just details she’d have to figure out later. For Finn, she could point out that she was not Kylo Ren and that he couldn’t judge her by the same standards, but she knew he knew that, even if he’d temporarily forgotten. So she declined to stoop to that level and instead just pleaded for understanding.

“I have to do this, Finn.”

“I could stop you,” he threatened stubbornly. “I could have you detained. After all, you’re trying to run off to the enemy.”

Rey nodded, sadly. “Yes, you could. And I could use the Force to make you help me instead.”

Finn’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t mind trick me!”

“No, Finn, I wouldn’t. Just like I hope you wouldn’t get me thrown in the brig.”

Finn fumed, not liking her logic in the least.

“Finn,” Rey began, stepping forward and trying a new tack. “After yesterday, I don’t know what him dying would do to me. I felt a gaping hole in me, a hole I hadn’t even known he was filling. And he wasn’t even really dead, I just _thought_ he was. I’m scared. Not just for him, although that’s a big part of it, but for me too.”

“You’d get over it, eventually,” he insisted. “You always do. I’ve known lots of people who died, and I always got over it.”

“But something tells me this is different, that I might not ever get over it.”

“You can’t know that!”

“No,” she admitted readily, “I can’t. But I’ve learned to trust my instincts, to trust in what I sense through the Force. And it’s telling me I need to do this. Regardless of what may or may not happen if I don’t go, I know I won’t ever be able to live with myself if I don’t try.”

“You already tried this, Rey, when you went to him the first time, on the _Supremacy_! Didn’t the Force steer you wrong then? What makes you put so much faith in it now?”

“I thought it was wrong, but now I think I gave up too quick. He’s been trying to reach me this whole time, Finn, ever since Crait and I never gave him the chance, not even once. I thought it was what I had to do, but after what I felt yesterday…”

“That was just pain—”

“No! That’s not what I mean. Yeah, the pain was scary, but what was _really_ scary was what I felt _after_. That’s what had me running away: not the physical pain, but the emotional pain. That’s what I’m afraid I can’t live with. And even if I thought I could, I know I can’t live with the guilt of consciously choosing to leave him to die.”

Finn stared at her, clearly and desperately wanting to file another argument with her, but coming up empty.

“What’s your plan?” he challenged, attempting a new approach.

Rey looked around at the great assortment of spacecraft lined up in the hangar. Most of them were spoken for, an object of intense and personal attachment, like Poe and BB-8’s X-wing. But some were not and, given all the maintenance work she’d done on these ships, she had a good sense of which was which.

“You’re going to get shot out of space before you even get there if you take a Resistance ship,” Finn stated dismally. “And you don’t have clearance codes for a First Order ship. And we don’t have any freighters or civilian ships,” he added quickly before she could make the suggestion. “Unless you want to steal the _Falcon_ …”

Rey glared at him and he glared right back, confirming her suspicion that he’d intentionally delivered a low blow.

“Well, what do you suggest, then?” she demanded in annoyance.

To her surprise, he was ready with an answer.

“That,” he said, pointing.

Following his outstretched finger, Rey turned to find a First Order shuttle tucked in the far back corner of the hangar. It was a small one, barely big enough for four.

“We don’t have any codes,” she reminded him.

“You don’t need them.”

She narrowed her eyes and he sighed, as if he couldn’t quite believe he was doing this.

“There are some stormtrooper uniforms inside there, captured at Rarkova. They’re full of blaster holes, but that can actually work in your favor. You admit you have no codes, say you’re a survivor from Rarkova and that you’re injured. That’ll get you on the ship, and then you figure out the rest from there.”

“They won’t care that I don’t have any codes?”

“No, because they’ll have a legitimate stormtrooper designation.”

“How?”

“Most troopers inscribe their designation on the inside of their helmet, because sharing someone else’s breathing space is gross. The First Order’ll have records that the trooper was at Rarkova and reported lost or missing. If we’re lucky, we’ll even find a designation of one that was assigned to the _Finalizer_ , which means they’ll definitely direct you there.”

“How will we know if they were assigned to the _Finalizer_?”

“Because I was,” Finn stated grimly, his countenance darkening as he clearly conceded his complicity in this scheme. “If I recognize the designator, then it was someone from the _Finalizer_.”

“And if there isn’t one?”

“You’ll just have to land on the _Finalizer_ and claim ignorance. And then mind trick your ass off.”

Rey contemplated this plan for a moment, then turned to Finn suspiciously.

“Why are you helping me?”

He sighed heavily. “You said you don’t know if you could forgive yourself if you didn’t try.”

She nodded.

“Well, I’m not sure you would forgive me if I didn’t let you try.”

She bowed her head, hating to admit that he was probably right. She would, indeed, hold it against him. And if the pain of losing Ben was as intense and lasting as she suspected, she could completely picture herself holding it against Finn for the rest of her life. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right, but it was realistic.

“And because I know how I’d feel if Poe were in danger.”

She nodded.

“And because you’d just get yourself blown up without my help. And because this way I can put my knowledge of the First Order to good use for once. And…Rey… Because I was there yesterday. I saw you. I saw what you went through and it scared the hell out of me. Not just the pain, but I saw your face when you realized what it meant. I couldn’t stand it if that were the only expression I ever saw on your face again.”

Rey stared at her dear, dear friend, her eyes filling with tears of affection and gratitude, and she impulsively pulled him into a hug.

“Alright, alright,” Finn objected, pushing himself out of her arms and attempting to be subtle about wiping a tear from his eye. “I’m assuming you want to go now?”

Rey nodded, then followed Finn to the shuttle, her heart at once singing in hope and moaning in fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love it when Finn proves that his love for Rey is stronger than his hatred for Kylo!!!


	6. Final

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey reaches Ben, only to discover she has stumbled into a wider plot...

“Shuttle 135SK, we have you on approach,” a wholly professional and bored voice came over Rey’s comms. “Submit your clearance codes now.”

“I don’t have any,” she answered, deliberately breaking communications protocol with her conversational language and allowing her anxiety to tinge her voice. “Please don’t shoot me down. I’m a survivor from Rarkova. I was injured there and I’m just trying to get home. I’m stormtrooper DS-4609.”

“Hold position.”

Rey complied, her heart thundering in her chest and pulsing in her ears. She resisted the temptation to stretch out into the ship with her consciousness to touch Ben, to reassure herself that he was still alive. She needed to keep her wits about her and reminding herself of his dire condition — assuming she didn’t find out he’d died before she could get to him — wouldn’t help. Get to Ben first, _then_ she could worry about what came next.

“Shuttle 135SK,” the comms blared, making Rey jump in her stormtrooper armor, “you are cleared to land in docking bay 4 of the _Finalizer_.”

“Thank you,” she effused in gratitude, wondering belatedly if that might have been too much.

Grateful that she knew the general layout of Star Destroyers so well thanks to her years of scavenging on Jakku, she made her way unerringly to docking bay 4 and landed without incident. Once there, she took a moment for several deep, calming breaths. The next stage of her plan involved using Force compulsion, which was risky since she seemed to have found less success with this than she’d been led to believe was common. In all the reading she’d done, she seen many references to people who where immune to the effect, but, by all accounts, such individuals were few and far between. But, in her own experience, it was more along the lines of a sixty/forty split. Though the greater proportion was on the successful side, it wasn’t by much. But it was the only way either she or Finn had been able to figure out how to get from the docking bay to wherever Ben was. Naturally, she hadn’t bothered to fill Finn in on her qualms regarding the reliability of her skill with that particular technique.

Though aware the loading ramp had opened immediately upon landing, Rey had been so absorbed in her anxious thoughts and worries that she hadn’t noticed someone had come aboard until an authoritative voice startled her from behind.

“DS-4609, you were reported lost on Rarkova. State the nature of your injuries.”

With bated breath, Rey turned and gasped when she beheld a formidably tall stormtrooper decked in distinctive chrome armor. Although she had never seen this woman before in reality, she recognized her instantly from the Force dream. Rey quickly surmised that portion of her dream had presaged this very moment, equating it with the last time she’d delivered herself into the enemy’s hands in an effort to reach Ben. What she was less certain of, however, was whether this portended good or ill for her current purposes.

Rather than respond to the unknown woman’s demand, Rey waved her hand before her, both as a distraction to ease the susceptibility of the target mind, and as a means of refining the direction of her efforts.

“You will take me to Kylo Ren.”

The chrome trooper remained utterly still for a moment, then her head slowly cocked to the side. Battling down the sudden certainty that this wasn’t going to work and combating the rise in anxiety that would only make her premonition come to pass all the sooner, Rey took a surreptitious breath, attempted to calm her racing heart and mind, and tried again.

“You will take me to Kylo Ren immediately,” she instructed, imbuing her command with both authority and urgency.

Rey had just begun to wonder if the voice modulator in her stormtrooper helmet could be inhibiting her efforts when, to her utter relief, the chrome helmet straightened to sit squarely atop the trooper’s shoulders and she intoned cooperatively, “I will take you to Kylo Ren immediately.”

Without another word, she turned and purposefully exited the shuttle, leaving Rey to scramble along in the wake of her long strides. Rey followed silently, her eyes darting everywhere though she was careful not to turn her head, maintaining her helmet’s position aimed resolutely at the chrome trooper’s back. As they progressed silently through the ship, Rey allowed herself to contemplate finding Ben. After reassuring herself that he was still alive, she would restore at least some measure of his strength through Force healing. Once that was accomplished, she was certain he could devise a plan to escape. At least…that was her fervent hope.

Belatedly realizing that she was being led into the furthest reaches of the ship, Rey returned her attention to the moment at hand. Pausing outside a secured door, she watched as the chrome trooper punched a code into the keypad, and the door slid silently aside. Following her guide inside, Rey had to take a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dim lighting in this chamber. Once they did, she immediately spotted Ben lying with his back toward them, halfway back in the furthest dank, dirty cell. And she caught her breath, noticing his complete lack of movement.

Transfixed by the sight of his back while attempting to simultaneously ascertain his status and suppress her fear, Rey completely missed the chrome trooper removing her helmet. And when she spoke, her voice freed of the helmet’s modulator, Rey turned to her in utter shock and distinct alarm.

“Can you help him?”

Rey stared at the tall blonde woman that had been revealed, her eyes filled with concern, and Rey belatedly realized she had, indeed, failed to compel her compliance through the Force. And, yet, she’d brought her here anyway.

“Can you help him?” she interrupted Rey’s thoughts, urgency weighting her words.

Stunned speechless, Rey could only nod. But it seemed no more words were needed, because the helmet-less trooper immediately turned and unlocked the cage that held Ben. Rushing forward, Rey almost immediately stumbled backward, a sickly coldness suddenly enveloping her. Suppressing a shudder of revulsion, she felt the horrid sensation lift as she moved back from Ben. Suspicion blooming in her mind, she stepped forward again, paying more attention to the feeling and, this time, identifying it as an inexplicable loss of her access to the Force.

“It’s a Force suppression field,” her chrome escort informed her, surmising the cause behind Rey’s strange behavior.

Rey glanced at her, then followed her gesture toward Ben, only now noticing the collar fixed about his neck that she’d seen in her dream. Her heart plummeted and her fury rose as she realized he hadn’t even been able to defend himself while he was beaten and tortured.

“Get it off him!” Rey cried, her overwhelming emotions getting the better of her discretion.

Though her eyes widened momentarily in surprise, the trooper immediately did as Rey instructed, approaching Ben with efficiency. Rey followed, willfully placing herself in the suppression field so she could feel when it lifted and, the moment it did, she was also filled with the sense of _him_. Choking back a heady sense of relief and completion as the familiar sensation that had lived in her mind for so long flooded in, Rey covered her mouth with her hand as a tear nevertheless escaped her control. Approaching him as the trooper moved away, Rey fell to her knees at his back, her hands flittering anxiously over his body, searching in vain for somewhere to touch him that wouldn’t inflame an open wound. Finally settling on his scalp as the only option, she moved her fingers delicately at his hairline, smoothing stray strands back from his face and flinching when the lengths caught and dragged through open wounds on his face and neck.

“Ben,” she whispered, feeling the tears already choking her voice as her eyes scanned him, taking in the magnitude of the damage inflicted upon him. Unable to withstand her imaginings of the tortures he must have endured, she forced herself to focus on his face, which had unfortunately fared no better than the rest of his body.

“Ben,” she tried again, more firmly this time, and she was rewarded with motion in his throat as her voice reached him.

“That’s it, Ben,” she encouraged him. “Come back to me.”

His throat moved again and she watched, mesmerized, as the tip of his tongue emerged briefly to moisten his dry, cracked lips. His eyelids pressed down against his eyes, the corners crinkling and his brow furrowing as he attempted to open them.

Rey continued to murmur soft words of encouragement, her fingers stroking his hair as tears flooded and fell from her eyes. Then, at last, his eyes opened, heavy and hooded with weariness and pain. She witnessed the moment he recognized her as his eyes slipped closed again and his mouth pulled slightly toward a smile, a sense of peace coming over him.

“No, Ben,” Rey insisted, “Open your eyes. I need you to wake up. Look at me.”

She watched him struggle, his breaths coming in short pants now as his throat worked more frantically and his brow creased against what she knew must be intense pain. Overcome by sudden anxiety for his condition, Rey impulsively leaned forward and placed a tender kiss at his hairline, all the while murmuring to encourage him to full consciousness. But, all of a sudden, it seemed that kiss had done the trick.

“Rey,” he moaned, his brow pinched, his mouth open in astonishment, and his eyes gazing at her in horror. “You…here?”

“Yes,” she reassured him with a tender smile and more strokes of her fingers in his hair. “Yes, Ben. I’m here.”

“No,” he said, his voice firmer now as he struggled to push himself up. “Go. Must…go.”

“No. I’m not going anywhere without you.”

He rocked his head from side to side, whimpering “no” repeatedly as his eyes slid shut, and Rey was moved by his evident alarm for her despite his own dire state.

“Cut the crap, Kylo,” an impatient voice suddenly interrupted, drawing his immediate attention to the chrome stormtrooper who had stepped close behind Rey. “Let her help you.”

His eyes settled upon the blonde woman and Rey perceived a depth of trust there, reinforcing the faith Rey had already placed in her. Despite the misgivings she sensed in him, he nodded weakly, accepting the trooper’s firm command, and his eyes moved to Rey.

“Turn onto your back,” she urged him, and he closed his eyes, wincing both with the effort of moving and the pain of his back coming into contact with the cold, dirty floor.

Ignoring his discomfort as much as she could, Rey gently took his face in her hands, her palms cradling the length of his jaw. She positioned herself over him awkwardly at his side, and gazed into his eyes. Reaching inside her, the summoned the Force to her aid, filtering its power through her hands and into his body, willing it to strengthen and heal him. Like the compulsion trick, she’d found limited success with healing, largely due, she suspected, to her grave lack of training. She abruptly recalled when he’d offered to teach her, an offer that had seemed so ludicrous at the time, and she wondered what she could accomplish now if she’d accepted him then. To her surprise, she felt his jaw move against her hands as he smiled, and she realized they were both occupying that cavernous space between their minds and that he’d sensed her memory. His hand lifted to press her left hand between it and his cheek and she looked upon him anew, finding his eyes considerably brighter, his countenance calmer, and his pressure at her hand quite strong. Encouraged by these results, she reached for more of the Force.

He gasped and his back arched against the floor, but Rey knew it was in response to a good sensation, one she was causing in him as her healing light subsumed him. She watched in amazement as wounds on his face, neck and chest stitched themselves together, leaving behind unbroken flesh. And she sensed an edge of pleasure as he took more and more of her Light inside him. She willingly gave him as much as he wanted, encouraging him to take even more when she sensed his need begin to wane. And his eyes opened and met hers in blazing heat, an entirely new sensation suddenly ripping through her. Now it was her turn to gasp as she felt a feedback of the pleasurable sensation that had gripped him, an intensity of warmth, but also belonging, understanding, compassion…and desire. Overcome by the feeling and instinctively needing more, she pushed harder, her body beginning to tremble with the effort. But she was so absorbed in giving and channeling all of her strength into him that she didn’t notice the sudden frown that crossed his face.

“Rey,” he said, his voice strong but edged with…what? She couldn’t focus enough to discern it, too thoroughly consumed by the sensation of her power filtered through his consciousness.

“Stop.”

She could only moan, entirely beyond the capability for coherent thought or speech as she simply _felt_ how _he_ felt _her_ in the Force. It was utterly intoxicating, and she didn’t want to stop.

“Rey! It’s too much!”

But she knew he was wrong. It wasn’t nearly enough. And she pushed even more into him, reveling in the glorious feeling that came back to her.

“No!” he shouted then, and she couldn’t fathom why he should want her to stop, not when she knew how _good_ she made him feel. “Phasma! Pull her off me!”

Rey objected, shaking her head frantically, but the moment her hands separated from Ben’s skin,overwhelming exhaustion claimed her. She slumped backward into the trooper’s supportive embrace, her head spinning dizzyingly. Attempting to push her way back to him, she instead succumbed to her weakness, falling to the side with her cheek pressed against the cold floor and fighting the rising panic in her certainty that she had grossly miscalculated something. But then he was there, his hand at her cheek and the magnetic pull of his gaze steadying her as she looked into his beautiful eyes.

“You have to be careful,” he told her, and Rey had the strangest sensation that he was already teaching her. “If you give too much, you can hurt yourself.”

And with that, she felt a reverse flow of energy, from him and into her, but only for a brief moment. The instant she recognized her hunger for more of the intoxicating sensation of his strength flowing through her mind and body, it was gone. Feeling suddenly rejuvenated, she looked at him with wide eyes.

“A little bit goes a long way, sweetheart.”

Rey felt her heart flip within her chest, and Ben smiled, as if he knew what his endearment had just done to her insides. Gently, he brushed his lips against her hair, but then his attention was directed entirely on the chrome trooper standing behind her.

“Is everything on schedule?”

“Yes, sir. But I put the plan on hold when she arrived.”

He sighed in irritation. “Stop calling me ‘sir,’ Phasma.”

“Yes, sir. Just as soon as our mission is complete.”

He sighed again, but seemed to accept her condition.

“What mission?” Rey asked, her gaze oscillating between the two of them. “What’s going on?”

“You couldn’t have arrived at a worse time, Rey.”

“Or better.”

Ben’s gaze snapped up to her and she inclined her head toward Rey.

“She could be an asset,” Phasma explained. “Not to mention that the plan need no longer include your sacrifice.”

He pondered her words closely, but Rey was only more confused and growing impatient and not at all liking the reference to Ben’s sacrifice. Sensing her boiling emotions, Ben turned to her, his smile gentle and perhaps a touch amused.

“I don’t have time to explain,” he told her. “I need you to trust me. Can you do that?”

Rey searched his eyes, instinctively delving into his mind in search of any deceit. Finding none, she instead found a wealth of Light in a mind she had only ever perceived as Dark. Her eyes widened, as did his smile. And he gripped her face in his hands once again, staring deep into her eyes, willing her to understand.

“That’s because of you,” he murmured, and she knew he meant the abundance of Light in his consciousness. “Even though you’ve been absent, you’ve been working on me all this time, sweetheart.”

Her mind already numb in astonishment, Rey was utterly unprepared when he suddenly pressed his lips to hers. Instantly overwhelmed by a compelling sense of rightness and belonging, she returned his kiss enthusiastically, lost entirely in the wonder of his embrace, her body singing in a way she’d never known it could. She was only just giving herself over entirely to the sensations whirling throughout her when a harsh _ahem_ interrupted them.

“My apologies, sir,” Phasma said, her gaze directed well over the heads of the couple kissing at her feet. “The longer we delay, the more we risk desertion.”

Ben nodded, though his eyes never left Rey’s as he reluctantly pulled back from her. He smiled, and she felt her heart pound and her stomach flip, astonished by the fact that he looked… _happy_. A soft chuckle even escaped his throat as he pulled her in quickly, pressing his lips briefly against her forehead before releasing her entirely. He stood and moved with conviction beyond the confines of the cell, Rey only then becoming uncomfortably aware of how little the tattered remains of his clothing left to the imagination. Turning aside with a furious flush in her cheeks, she noticed Phasma also staring resolutely in the opposite direction as he retrieved a stashed set of clothing and boots.

“I didn’t think I’d have need of this,” he commented as he first stripped then reclothed himself. “I’m glad you insisted, Phasma.”

But even as he spoke, Rey heard his voice offering her different, private words as she struggled to avert her gaze from the sight of his incredibly well-formed backside.

_Work first, sweetheart. Plenty of time for that later._

“Oh, gods,” Rey murmured, only realizing when Phasma turned to her that she’d inadvertently spoken aloud, and she both felt and heard Ben chortle lightheartedly at her reaction.

“It’s time,” he declared as his foot hit the bottom of his second boot. “Give the order.”

“You should have the honor, sir,” Phasma insisted, holding out her helmet to him.

Although Rey recognized the instinct to protest her gesture in his eyes, she felt his mind whirling over all the possible options and their ramifications, then he silently acceded to her suggestion. Donning the chrome helmet, he spoke into the microphone inside it.

“Attention all stormtroopers. This is Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. Operation Backlash is a go.”

By the time he had removed and handed the helmet back to its owner, a terrible klaxon filled the air around them. While Rey looked up in surprise and concern, both Ben and Phasma smiled.

“Alright,” Ben said with a nod. “Let’s go get Hux.”

“And her?” Phasma asked, her voice bearing its mechanical timbre again as she inclined her helmeted head toward Rey.

“She stays with me.”

Phasma nodded and headed for the outer door as Ben turned to her, holding out his hand. Amazed, Rey looked down at what he offered her.

“I’m assuming you don’t have yours with you?”

She swallowed, staring at the distinctive weapon that would spit out an angry red plasma blade when activated, one that had threatened and terrified her on more than one occasion.

“I have enough tricks up my sleeve I won’t need it.”

She understood exactly what he meant. By virtue of her lack of training, she had become accomplished at little beyond saber fighting.

“You should fix that for me,” she said impulsively.

Clearly liking the implication that he should teach her what he knew of the Force, he grinned and pulled her firmly against him.

“I’d like nothing more,” he murmured.

His lips settled down on hers once again, and Rey felt the edge of carnal desire flaring to life, stealing her breath.

 _Almost nothing more_ , he amended inside her mind, sending a thrill of anticipation tingling through her body.

Pulling away and glancing with an apology in his eyes toward Phasma, Ben became all business once again. He turned resolutely toward the door, but Rey suddenly yanked on his arm.

“What the hell are we doing?”

Slowly, an irrepressible grin that Rey quickly decided she absolutely adored spread across his face.

“We’re overthrowing the First Order, sweetheart.”


	7. Unity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lemon time! (Because what's a Reylo fic without some smut?)

Rey paced endlessly, wringing her hands, deeply afraid that none of this was real, that she had imagined it all, that she hadn’t just participated in a stormtrooper rebellion that had thrown the whole of the First Order into chaos, that it hadn’t all been conceived and planned by Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, that she hadn’t in fact succeeded in her quest to turn him to the Light, all while avoiding him and believing her efforts to be an immeasurable failure.

 _You can’t take_ all _the credit, you know. Uncle Luke had something to do with it, too. And Mother. And Phasma. And even Snoke and Hux in their way…_

 _Alright!_ she thought, grinning stupidly at the novelty and delight of him speaking in her mind like this. _I get it. I’m not important_.

_Wrong. And when I get there, I’m going to show you how wrong you are._

Rey’s breath hitched in her throat at the profusion of emotions and sensations his words sent flooding through her body, and she felt his deep satisfaction with her response.

_And when’s that going to be?_

_So impatient…_ he chuckled. _Soon. I’m making sure everything is secure, that we won’t wake up to find out everything we accomplished is all overturned. Or be murdered in our sleep._

_Lovely thought. Are you sure we should even stay here?_

_I need to. If I leave now, I pretty much assure that this will have all been for nothing. But you don’t have to._

_No. I told you, I’m not going anywhere without you._

_Gods, Rey. I can’t tell you how much I love hearing you say that._

_You don’t have to. I can feel it._

And moment she thought that, a fresh wave of affection, desire, and loyalty washed over her, driving her instantly to new heights of impatience.

 _Okay, okay!_ he laughed. _I’m on my way_.

Rey felt her anxiety and excitement elevate instantly, her heartbeat and breathing both accelerating. She knew Ben could sense everything of what she felt and thought, and she didn’t care. She’d hidden from him for so long, depriving herself of the opportunity to understand just how profound her impact on him had been, and she was so far beyond ever cutting herself off from him again. The dedication and affection between them was already potent and unassailable, and they both knew that, by virtue of the completely open stance they had so readily adopted with one another through the bond in their minds.

She knew everything there was to know about him, the entirety of his history: his descent to the Dark Side by virtue of both Snoke’s manipulation and his parents’ inadvertent neglect, the struggle and isolation that had constantly plagued him, and his conviction that he was trapped in a prison of his own making…until she had burst into his life. She knew that she had a difficult road ahead of her, that few if any of her friends would be able to understand the thorough and utter devotion she held for him already, but she also knew such doubt would be unable to sway her. She knew him as well as she knew herself, as well as _he_ knew _himself_. And there simply could be no other way.

Sensing him drawing near, Rey slapped the control that opened the door to his quarters, where he’d left her under loyal guard while he’d gone off to do his Supreme Leader thing. The pair of stormtroopers stationed outside her door turned to greet her with open smiles, which she could see by virtue of the fact that they had chosen to doff their helmets. She returned their smiles warmly, recalling the acts of bravery and loyalty they had both performed during the coup. But then her attention was pulled like gravity toward the man whose long legs carried him down the considerable length of the corridor with inexorable speed. He, too, smiled openly, nodding his appreciation as the two troopers executed a smart salute, but the remainder of his focus was reserved for her.

Without even bothering to close the door first, he swept her up into his arms and she laughed in delight as he buried his face in her hair. She noticed the door slide closed behind him and wondered absently if one of the troopers had hit the control or if he’d done it through the Force even as he breathed in the scent and reality of her in his arms.

“Phasma wanted me to express her gratitude for saving her life.”

Rey smiled, recalling the expression of astonishment that had crossed the chrome trooper’s face as Rey deflected the blaster bolt that would have seared it off.

“She saved my life too,” she responded easily with a shrug.

“I know, and I thanked her. For that and more. She has been so integral to my plans and has become a steadfast friend. I don’t know why I never paid her any mind before.”

“Ben…” Rey admonished mildly. “I don’t want to talk about Phasma.”

“I know, sweetheart. But she made me promise I’d tell you before I did this.”

Before she could ask what he meant, his lips found hers and absorbed her in a deep kiss. Absently, Rey acknowledged Phasma’s wisdom, the trooper recognizing neither of them would have capacity for anything in their minds beyond each other after that point, and then both the woman and her gratitude were entirely eradicated from Rey’s thoughts.

Rey responded to Ben eagerly, delving into both the physical and mental sensations he awakened within her as well as experienced himself. The distinction between the two of them was lost entirely, only a united whole left in its wake, one currently subsumed with the need to experience and feel the entirety of their union.

A sudden edge of doubt crept in, and Rey pulled back abruptly.

“Is that you or me?” she asked, and he frowned, knowing exactly to what she referred.

“I don’t know. Is this too much? Too fast?”

“I’m through denying you, Ben. I am yours, entirely. And you’re mine. We can torture ourselves with doubt and waiting if we want, but we both know where this is going, we have both accepted it, and we both want it to the depths of our being.”

Rey felt the doubt ease and she chuckled, still having no idea whether she’d just convinced him or herself.

“I love you, Rey.”

She knew that, of course, the profundity of both their emotions for one another so close to the surface of their minds that it was entirely unavoidable. But hearing the declaration from his lips, spoken in the voice she had come to cherish so thoroughly in so short a time, was even more intense that just knowing it existed.

“Tell me again.”

“I love you, Rey. Some part of me always has, ever since I first heard of your existence. I always knew you would change my life and at first that terrified me. But it couldn’t be any other way. I think the Force created you for me. I think that’s why we have this bond. I think it recognized the error of the path I’d chosen, the path _Snoke_ had chosen for me, and knew the destruction it would lead to. You are my balance, Rey, the Light to my Darkness, and it’s only _with_ you that I can be what I was meant to be.”

Rey stared, speechless. She watched as both his eyes and his psyche registered a mote of wariness, but she quickly shook her head, dispelling the worry that he’d said more than he should.

“I love you, Ben.”

He sighed, holding her tighter in his embrace. “I love hearing you call me that. I’d thought that name was dead to me, until you used it.”

“Ben…” she murmured, reveling in the sensations of satisfaction and happiness that flowed around them both. “You stopped kissing me.”

She saw and mirrored his grin as he swiftly remedied that oversight. He held her tight, and Rey suddenly became aware of the firmness in his trousers, pressed intimately against her stomach. Emboldened by the surge of lust that neither could hide from the other, she pressed her hand against him, feeling the length of his arousal and imagining the heat of him as he moved inside her.

“Yes,” he murmured, encouraging her barely spawned thought to reach beneath his clothing and feel the heat of his flesh for herself.

As her hand came into contact with him, she heard him groan out her name, fresh surges of pleasure and desire warring within their joined minds. Sensing the pulse of impatience only an instant before, he swiftly removed her hand from his trousers and lifted her into his arms, carrying her into his bedroom and laying her down upon the bed. Silently and efficiently, he removed every article of her borrowed stormtrooper underarmor until she lay bared, naked, beautiful, and enticing beneath him. Shuddering at the intensity of his reaction to seeing her like that, Rey closed her eyes and rolled her head to the side, only to shout out in surprise a moment later when his mouth unexpectedly descended upon her core between her thighs.

 _Open for me, my love_.

And Rey followed his instructions, parting her thighs to give him better and deeper access to her sex. She was rewarded instantly by the lapping of his tongue over her folds, pulling gasps of pleasure and surprise from her as he continued to lave her. She moaned his name, her fingers tangling in his hair as she held him close against her. One hand crept up her body to seize a breast, his fingers quickly finding her nipple and tweaking it gently between them. The thought crossed Rey’s mind that nothing could possibly surpass this sensation when she felt his acceptance of the inadvertent challenge and he slowly inserted a finger into her tight, wet passage. Sighing in happy acceptance of her error, she felt the vibration of his voice as he chuckled into her folds, his tongue and lips continuing to tease at the stiffened bundle of nerves right in the middle. Soothing her sudden disappointment as he withdrew his finger, he pressed two inside and the swirl of satisfaction soothed them both.

 _You’re so wet for me_ , he murmured in her mind. _And I love your taste._

Rey felt a clenching somewhere deep in her core, a flare of arousal at his words, and Ben’s sudden delight in the fluttering of her walls against his fingers enveloped them both. A sudden sense of something headed inexorably toward her flashed between them with subtle anxiety, and Ben soothed her.

_That’s your release. Let it come. Let me bring it to you._

Reassured that these entirely new sensations were welcome, Rey gave herself over completely to her pleasure. As Ben worked her with fingers, tongue, and words, the sensations swirling around her became deeper and thicker, her voice rising timidly to express her bliss.

 _Yes, Rey_ , he encouraged her. _Let me hear you_.

“Ben,” she moaned in delirious pleasure, her breath catching in a gasp as his fingers curled deep inside her, pressing and scraping against a particularly sensitive spot.

Her voice rose in both pitch and volume as he continued to drive her pleasure.

“Oh, Ben!” she cried out. “It’s— What—?”

_Yes, love. Come for me. Let me feel all of you._

The building tension in her body crested, and Rey screamed his name, panting wildly as the tremors of her orgasm rippled through her, prolonged through Ben’s ministrations. Her thighs closed in around his head, but he pushed them back, suddenly consumed by the need to take her at the height of her aftermath. Leaping dexterously from the bed, he frantically shed his clothing as his hungry gaze watched Rey squirming in lingering pleasure. At last prepared, he positioned himself between her thighs and aligned his cock at her dripping opening.

“Look at me, Rey. Let me see your eyes.”

Obeying immediately, she was rewarded with the impossibly satisfying sensation of being filled by his arousal.

“ _Ben!_ ” she gasped in ecstasy, and he groaned deeply in response.

Driven to an edge of desire and arousal he could no longer control, he set an aggressive tempo, driving his hips into and away from hers with animalistic need. She gasped with every thrust, demonstrating her intense pleasure as the intimate friction drove them both to new heights.

 _More_ , she encouraged him, though with an edge of uncertainty regarding what exactly it was she begged for.

Wedging his knees beneath her, Ben gripped her hips and lifted them, giving him a new angle from which to thrust in and out of her, achieving both greater penetration and strength. As he set a punishing pace, Rey cried out her approval. Responding to her enthusiasm, he pushed himself harder and deeper, rewarded by the fluttering against his cock that both heralded her release and drove his. Shouting out with his own impending orgasm, the sound of his pleasure and the satisfying slap of flesh on flesh as he drove relentlessly into her sent her over the edge, and she cried out with the intensity of a release that flooded through her, her voice still keening in pleasure when his joined hers, groaning and grunting as their united orgasm pulled the seed of his release from his body and into hers.

Spent, exhausted, and in danger of collapsing the whole of his weight onto her, Ben rolled with her, managing to switch their positions while he yet remained inside her. Sated in a way she had never before imagined, Rey smiled and lay her head down onto his shoulder, feeling the fluttering of his breath in her hair just as he must must have surely felt hers at his neck. Eventually, just before his softening cock slipped out of her of its own accord, Rey shifted to his side, flinging one leg over his and cuddling close in his embrace. Idly, Rey marveled at how right this felt, sharing such intimacy and closeness with the man she’d always thought was her enemy. When she felt a rumble of laughter in his chest and he drew her closer in his embrace, she knew he had sensed the bent of her thoughts.

“How did you know so much sooner than I did that this was what we were meant to be?”

Rey felt his mind churning at her question, and she propped her head up on her hand to peer into his face…his alluring, perfect, beloved face. He smiled, and her heart sang.

“You’re distracting me,” he admonished lightly, amusement vibrating deep in his voice. “I’m trying to answer your question.”

“Well, until you do, I’m just admiring what’s mine.”

His breath sucked in, his eyes closed, and Rey knew her words had just pleased him on a very deep level.

“I’d given up on this ever happening.”

“So you _had_ stopped trying to reach me,” she murmured, and he nodded. “I wasn’t sure if it was that or I’d just stopped noticing.”

“Yes, I eventually stopped pushing at the barrier you’d put up between us,” he sighed. “Your stubbornness is exhausting, sweetheart.”

“I know,” she muttered with a grim, self-deprecating smirk. “But how did you know?”

“I wondered about that a lot. The best answer I have is that I recognized the influence of the Force in the way we met and how we bonded. And I never believed Snoke connected our minds. And…I wasn’t surrounded by people telling me you were evil.”

“You were never evil, Ben,” she murmured softly, feeling the depth of his sorrow. “You were manipulated and confused.”

“Oh, Rey…” He smiled sadly and lifted her hand to press her knuckles against his lips. “Yes, I was. I was a monster, just like you said. And I’d needed to hear you say that.”

Rey hovered at his side, staring deeply into his beautiful eyes as her fingers played idly in his hair. She sighed softly.

“I suppose that’s something we can argue about for the rest of our lives.”

She felt the breath halt in his chest, saw his eyes widen slightly as he stared at her. Slowly, carefully, he inhaled.

“Tell me you really mean that,” he whispered, a wave of uncertainty flowing between them.

“Yes, Ben, I do. It may have taken me longer, but I know where I belong now. I don’t know what the future holds for us… First Order, Resistance, something else entirely, I just don’t know. But I do know, whatever it is, we will face it together.”

Rey smiled gently as he stared up at her in utter astonishment. Then, without warning, he rolled, pressing her onto her back and positioning himself between her thighs. She inhaled deep as she felt his arousal press inside her once more, and shuddered with profound emotion as their bodies mimicked the unity their minds possessed.

“I love you so much, Rey,” he murmured as he thrust slowly and tenderly inside her.

Rey sighed in absolute contentment and pulled him down to kiss her, knowing without any doubt that she would never be able to get enough of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there it is! This story was conceived, written, edited, and posted in a total of 3 days' time, so I know there are lots of holes and things left unexplained. I'm happy to answer questions about my headcanon on this one (that's a term I just learned; I'm so excited!), or anything else for that matter.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, and please do let me know what you thought. As I'm sure most writers of fanfiction do, I thrive upon your comments!!!!
> 
> And, finally, a special thank you to Shawna Madsen for inspiring this quick, down and dirty writing experience. I hope it has helped in some small measure, my dear!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Be sure to check out my other stories here on AO3! And come find me on Tumblr! I'm KCMarsala both here and there.


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